Jacksonville News

New Jax Witty

Articles, reviews, advice, and legitimate research to go along with some back-handed comments. Think of us as Jacksonville's mother-in-law.
  • Profiles in Courage: Judge Shore

    According to USA Today, a local judge named Brad Shore might have broken some laws when he donated to President Trump's campaign, displayed political signs at his home, and cut off the press from watching how his team manages issues with ballots. Either it's a fake news nothing burger, or it's the exact reason we have rules for judges in these situations.

    Judges are supposed to be held to a higher standard than the rest of us, and a judge put in charge of voting should at least pass the campaign smell test. That means don't donate to candidates or display signs in front of your house. According to the news, Shore gave a paltry $170 to Trump's campaign along with another $178 to the GOP, which couldn't even cover Trump's federal tax bill. His wife told reporters he didn't do it, and it almost looks like a setup because of the anemic amounts. I mean, if I was going to risk losing my job to donate to a candidate, I'd at least throw $1,000 at him. This judge probably made 5 times my top yearly salary his entire career, and all he can spare is $170? Sounds almost like a setup, at least until his wife told the reporters that the signs that were unethically posted outside the judge's house were hers and on her side of the property. Which is still, apparently, against ethics laws. Still, photos of the signs showed tiny signs and stickers, which means maybe Judge Shore (or his wife) were trying to fly under the radar when it comes to violations, which would coincide with the weak political donations.

    Here's the deal: I'm not a judge and I don't like one of the candidates, but I don't display yard signs because I don't want my neighbors to think I am political. I didn't donate because I don't see myself benefiting personally from either candidate. But Judge Shore, a judge trusted with overseeing voting in Duval, decided that he was going to be more political than me. Or he let his triflin' wife do it. Really, it's not all that hard to save your $348, keep your yard clear of perceived bias, and then trash a bunch of Biden votes at the office. But that's why Judge Brad (or Brent) Shore gets my vote for Profiles in Courage. I assume he yells at local kids to get out of his lawn, saying, "I am the law!" How cool is that? And, if his candidates wins because of him, how true is that?

  • Another Case Against Pitbulls

    I'm sure some people in Jacksonville have already written me off as that guy who hates pitbulls for no reason. Even my own kids weren't really believers because "So-and-so has a nice Pitbull" or "Their dog is only part pit bull." But when one of these monsters comes charging out of a house in your own neighborhood and attacks your leashed dog on the sidewalk, that's when even the kids believe what I've been telling them.